Is sex better when you are being unfaithful? Apparently so! While routine and habit tend to gradually stifle married couples’ sexual desires, infidelity is a way of changing sexual partners and boosting a flagging libido. But what really are the sexual practices of the unfaithful? This key data compiled by Gleeden, the leader in extramarital encounters, from the responses of over 15,000 of its European members, may surprise you.
Sexuality is an essential element of an extramarital relationship and many take the step of becoming unfaithful in order to rediscover pleasure which they no longer find in their official relationship. A challenge, the taste of the forbidden and novelty, are these the ingredients for enhanced sexual desire?
A Lover: freedom and pleasure tenfold?
Based on the responses of more than 10,000 female members of the extramarital dating site Gleeden, which has more than 3 million registered members, this divisive issue could even have a direct link with the small wanderings and infidelities of these ladies. 86% of them admit frankly they have been annoyed by the lack of involvement of their other half in doing the housework. 84% of them also report having already argued about it. Finally, nearly three quarters of them (73%) think that their partner’s negligent behaviour vis-à-vis domestic tasks ended up pushing them into the arms of another man.
“If you don’t get involved, I’ll look elsewhere”
For those interviewed, infidelity seems to primarily be a way to break free from conventions and have new experiences, obtaining pleasure for themselves more than anything else. 62% of respondents say that they often reach orgasm with their lover against only 21% with their spouse. A large majority (78%) also admits to experimenting with sexual practices more with their lover. Half of them use sex toys only with their lover, and almost a quarter of them admit to having experienced anal sex for the first time with their lover!
Infidelity: a touch of novelty to overcome the lack of spark in a steady relationship
The study shows that little demonstrations of affection are mostly reserved for the lover. It was notable that the members interviewed said that they often practised foreplay with their lovers but rarely with their spouses. In fact, sometimes the lack of effort and familiarity destroys the desire. An overwhelming 65% of members surveyed also admit to rarely feeling excited by a kiss from their other half. After a few years, the signs of affection no longer seem to have the same appeal.
This is probably why the majority of members surveyed reported making love twice more with their lover than with their spouse! The extramarital affair seems to be a real trigger for the libido.
Reviving the pleasure, spicing up everyday life, and experiencing once again the thrill of the start of a relationship is also what members are looking for on Gleeden. “I have been sharing my life with my spouse for 14 years and despite both our efforts, in recent years I have felt that there is no longer any desire between us,” says Anne, 39, married for 12 years. “Since I have had an extramarital relationship, I have found a balance between life as a wife and mother and life as a woman. And above all, I have found a way to have pleasure again, something I thought I had lost forever.“
Maïa Mazaurette, author, columnist and Gleeden sexpert responds to this survey:
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“What is interesting about this study is that those interviewed would undoubtedly have found their extramarital affairs to be just like their marital relationships … in five, ten or twenty years’ time! It’s not about the person but about time, about desire for the other person. It would be an utter impossibility for all lovers to be better in bed and more thoughtful than all husbands – and as regards woman, for all mistresses to be more inventive than all brides! What we can deduce is that we make more effort when we are still in the phase of seduction or conquest, of an all-consuming passion. However, we should not rush to conclude that the very beginning of a relationship is worth more to us than the routine. The reason most of the unfaithful remain part of a couple is because the “indifferent” kisses are also reassuring. Sexual relations without foreplay require less time and we don’t always feel like riding an emotional roller coaster… in short, because two different types of relationship can be appreciated. And can be complementary!“ |
*Gleeden online survey conducted from October 7th to 14th on 8.103 men and 7.969 women european members.